For breakfast this morning I enjoyed a bagatelle of mixed summer fruits smothered in a choice of natural yoghurt's and flakes of pecan heaven. My beverage of choice was a chilled glass of iced tea and pearly mint. It took me back to the days of Henry Africa's nightclub in Glasgow on a Saturday night. Iced tea is how we would describe the watered down blend of Algerian whisky on offer at 30 shillings a glass, of which would never fail to incite the animal often to be found in man.

'Think you're a feckin wide-o pal?' shouted the crazed addict, using a large shovel of a hand to wave the open razor wildy in the face of the tall man at the bar. It was all over in seconds, most people in the company of the tall man rarely saw things happen. People long since remembered the glory days of old Glasgow with a fondness. With his arm bent up at an awkward angle the addicts razor was slowly reversed without effort to his own face, the now closed blade trickled slowly just below his left ear and came to rest at the point of his large wiry chin. It left a thin noticeable white line in its wake which gradually disappeared. The addict crumpled to the floor a broken man, the crotch of his trousers visibly wet with the tell tale trail of urine and fear.

The tall man thumbed the smooth handle of the well worn razor as the trace of a smile lifted one corner of his own scarred mouth. 'Old habits' he thought to himself as he slowly finished his drink and headed towards the door. His lust, an orgasm of violence, his own taste for blood, had long ago been satisfied.

Piemonte Carne Cruda

1lb fresh veal
6 garlic cloves
the juice of two lemons
extra virgin olive oil
crushed sea salt
white pepper
1white truffle

Most importantly, clean the meat extremely well, sear it on all sides for under a minute and then trim off the edges. This will eliminate any chance of unwittingly ingesting any still lurking bugs. Cut it in strips and hand mince it. The shortest the time between the cutting, the preparation and the serving, the better. Put it in a glass bowl, add the crushed garlic and the oil, mix it carefully so that the oil is well and truly massaged into the meat. It must not be too dry nor too oily, work at it to ensure it is moist. Around ten spoons of oil should be enough. Add salt, pepper and lemon juice: mix again and take the garlic cloves away before serving. The meat should be pink and bloody red in colour, that’s why it has to be served immediately before it becomes grey because of the lemon juice.

Cooking time.... 0.

Serve it on 2 thin slices of toasted bread, remove the crusts first and and cover it with very thin slices of truffle and a sprinkle of minced salted anchovy. I would recommend a good hearty real ale with this dish, preferably Bishops Finger or Old Speckled Hen if available.

Enjoy, you might just enjoy the unique taste of blood for yourselves.


  1. The LORD will repay him for the blood he shed, because without the knowledge of my father David he attacked two men and killed them with the sword. Both of them, Abner son of Ner, commander of Israel's army, and Amasa son of Jether, commander of Judah's army were better men and more upright than he.

  2. Mr Christ, let me explain exactly how a play on words works. There wasn't any blood shed as such. The whole crux of the post is to emphasise the blood of the meat. The post opens and describes a situation which is possibly raw. The title of which is 'Raw'. Are yis with me here son?

    Abner, Ner, David and Amasa must have been in the bar next door. As for Jether and Judah, let's just say that they are possibly a lot closer with their pork swords than you can imagine.

  3. Are we havin' this before or after the game?

  4. Tomorrow night I shall be feasting on the bones of the Benfica men. I shall be in residence in a quaint little fenian bar with the company of the old brigade about me. If Celtic lose we shall rape, pillage and sack the country of Spain by the morning.

    If we win, forget the pillaging and sacking, and hold all my calls until the morning.

  5. Would there be a suitable replacement for the truffle? I don't dig on fungus. Or would you just leave it out? Or would you curse me like the barbarian that I am?

  6. Sounds like a lot of work.

    I;ll be in residence in mu usual, with the plumber, on those very stools where sit the two wans at the top of my page. If we can move their holy arses!

  7. Mr Earl, Fungus tends to grow on some after a while, but to others, they can be more truffle than they are worth.

    Diced bacon or antipasto can be a good substitute, but do stay away from dairy products such as cheese or rich sauces.

  8. Map, my pre-match ritual warm up will begin at noon with an assortment of chilled lagers and graduate on to "just leave the bottle" by kick-off. I am expecting good things from the lads and have already laid down a sizeable wad on getting a good result. Should it go tits-up I shall be incommunicado while I drown my sorrows and a whole sack full of kittens to ease my mood.

    The eyes of the world will be on Selik the night, and if I can only get Neil Lennon on the phone I'll be reminding him of that.

    C'mon the hoops!

  9. The fact that I read these posts first thing in the morning probably isn't doing my waistline any favors. I am immediately compelled to run out and get a "treat" with my morning coffee. Not even the metaphorical violence can dampen my hunger. Curse your effective writing.

  10. UB, I would advise caution next week my friend, I have a recipe for cream horns and chocolate eclairs that would turn the head of a saint.

    Metaphorically speaking of course, but metaphors are designed to pique the interest of those with larger waistlines. Fact!

    I wouldn't make that up, or would I?

  11. I love your brekkers but I never did fancy raw meat. Plebish I know.

  12. Raw meat is fine Pat, but I prefer my steak to at least be a wee bit blue first.

  13. Could it be ??? Am hearing echos, echos, of something from long ago, something fascinating that I couldn't stop returning to for the dose of raw life, raw emotions, raw everything... is it so ? I don't know... but my inner ear is whispering... yes.... yes.... Take care, good chef, and watch the blade while slicing and dicing, keep the fingertips clear...

  14. You never know, Owen, you never know!


Thank you, the chef is currently preparing an answer for you in the kitchen. Do help yourself to more bread.