Tuesday

The Holy Trinity

For breakfast this morning I spilt hot tea over my shoes and threw two fresh omelette's half way to the ceiling as I reacted to the sound of a refuse truck exploding on my driveway. Luckily it was still some way from the house when it went up, the cause still to be officially determined, but the fire brigade believe it to be a carelessly disposed butane gas cylinder hidden inside some thoughtless feckin eejits discarded deritus. The darkened stain on my gravelled entrance is removable, alas, the same cannot be said for the postman's shorts. It took a good few slugs of my blended whisky to calm his shattered nerves. It could have been a lot worse. Siobhan's first reaction was to offer him my single malt. A disaster and a divorce narrowly avoided.

In honour of my friends in Amerikay who are also currently living through difficult times in changed circumstances where good food is not yet readily available, I shall dedicate my version of quick and tasty chow to the cause. I hope it meets with the high USA burger standards.

The Holy Trinity

2 tablespoons finely chopped onion
2 tablespoons chili sauce
2 teaspoons Worcester sauce
2 teaspoons mild mustard
1 lb ground beef
4 slices Edam or cheddar cheese, halved diagonally
2 slices Swiss cheese, halved diagonally
4 burger buns, split and toasted
Lettuce leaves, sliced tomato and onion, ketchup and mustard
1/2 lb Piri Piri chicken pieces
4 rashers smoked back bacon
free range eggs

In a large bowl, combine the first four ingredients. Crumble beef over mixture and mix well. Shape into four patties. Grill, covered with a metal dish over a medium heat for 6 minutes on each side or until a meat thermometer reads 160° and juices run clear. Warm the piri piri chicken on a medium heat griddle. Throw on the rashers of bacon  for 2 minutes per side. During the last minute of cooking, top each patty with two triangles of Edam cheese and one triangle of Swiss cheese, add the chicken, bacon and a fried egg. Serve on buns with the lettuce, tomato, onion, bacon, ketchup and mustard if desired.

30 comments:

  1. Wow...now that's quite the burger! :) I may pass on the egg, but I love the variety of cheeses!

    I'm about to go into the kitchen and make a batch of brownies...baking is my way of relaxing. Hopefully the elections will REALLY be over by morning. My ears could use a break from all the accusatory tones. ;)

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    1. Hope, surprisingly enough kitchen activities was first shown to me as an alternative to my destructive and violent nature. I was 18 at the time, food preparation was a course on offer at my place of dwelling during that particular period of my life. My tutor was a lady in her late 70s who looked past the big lump who had invaded her kitchen and had a fondness for sharp knives. She taught me patience and self worth, not to mention a very nice fish recipe.

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  2. O.K....I know what piri piri is...I know what chicken is...but what is Piri Piri chicken?

    And what is Swiss cheese?
    In the terms of this recipe.

    Lighten our darkness, we beseech thee O lord...

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    1. Fly, piri-piri in its natural state, seeds in for extra heat, is added to a blender, combined with lime juice, brown sugar, olive oil, ginger, vinegar, salt, and garlic until it is a purée that the divil himself would be afraid of. Wearing thin kitchen gloves finely chop by hand one Scotch bonnet chili and add to the mix. Cover with cling film and leave in the fridge for at least one week. Slice four decent pieces of chicken breast from the bird, de-skin and add to the piri mix. Use tongs, the divils blood as it has now become is lethal to the touch. Coat well and remove the chicken after 8 hours. Dice the chicken roughly and wrap it in tin foil before slow cooking in the oven for 30 minutes before adding to the burger. It will be tender, juicy and add one hell of a zing!

      Swiss cheese, better known here as Le Gruyère, is a hard cheese, not the one with the holes. Also called Emmental, it is pale and waxy, it has an excellent taste when placed in burgers, especially when mixed with a good Scottish or English mature cheddar. They go to together very well and bring out the taste of the sweetness of the white Spainish onion. The soft texture of a medium fried egg marries together the salty bacon flavour and the crisp of the onion perfectly.

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    2. Right....off to burn through the tongs.

      Thank you!

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  3. eggs and chicken... what has been called the "mother and child reunion". i suppose the beef represents the holy father?

    delighted that the true disaster was averted. no one gets my single malt. unless... well... yeah. there's that...

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    1. Beef, chicken and bacon... the perfect holy moment. It represents heaven in a bun!

      Single malt is for those moments when everything around you is perfection... Velvet seduction, it is to be savoured and never rushed in order to achieve the full promise of what is yet to come.

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  4. Jeebus, that sounds tasty. Even at 06:50 in the morning.

    Have you ever heard of Balblair? Drink responsibly, indeed. Thanks for the enlightenment on Swiss cheese.

    We have another bit storm due today. It's called a nor'easter. They've actually had to evacuate some of the areas where power was restored just a few days ago. I feel like we're being punished but I can't connect the sin.

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    1. Balblair, one of Scotland's oldest distilleries, a distinctive malt whisky indeed. Keep the following day free if you are to spend the night supping it.

      Swiss cheese, my pleasure.

      The sin would be the Bush family and the twin towers lies methinks. Stay safe!

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  5. Me right now? Picture if you will a Mr. Homer Simpson, drooling. (All over my beard!)

    Can I order two for the game? Might as well throw one in for the plumber.

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    1. Homer? I was thinking more Mo.

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  6. Funny thing about my yank mates is that most of them are shite scared to try anything sans bun or tomato sauce aka ketchup. If memory serves I had a vindaloo by the time I was 10 along with a side of Bombay Duck swallowed down with a swig of Kestrel lager that Pa let me have while the waiter was away. Your recipe WILL be used on my clan and they WILL eat it. Having been raised on Tannadice pies and pickled onions, my belly is always welcoming to a new challenge although to me the holy trinity is
    1. Dundee United will win the league
    2. Scotland will qualify for a major tournament
    3. Rangers (Apology for the mention) will die a slow painful death.
    cheers...

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    1. Ahhh Sausage, ever the eternal optimist eh?

      1. Dundee United to finish 5th.

      2. Scotland under wee Gordy Strachan may beat the USA.

      3. Rankers are already dead. In Glesca these days we refer to them as Zombies and cheats.

      I hope your family enjoy my wee taste of food pal.

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    2. I can imagine by now you are still high on last night's glory. Well done to your hooped heroes and now I can see you in the final. If you can hold off that lot with that style of passing then the sky is the limit. I was at the USA match in Florida and was draped in blue and white, the red white and blue ran us amuck like bairns, although it was the end of a long SPL and EPL season and the ham shanks were fresh and at home, we still should have rammed the ball down their fucking throats! Anyway before I keep ranting I shall forward my address so you can send me a Celtic FC Champions League winners shirt....
      cheers, Sausage.

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    3. Sausage, if we achieve the final I shall fly you over for the game. That's a promise.

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  7. I blame the war but chicken, beef and bacon in one fell swoop niggles my puritanical streak - although I'm sure, prepared by you it would taste scrummy.
    What a frightening thing to happen on one's driveway. I hope you and all the family and animals aren't shell shocked.

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    1. Pat, even saints have off days hen. Gonnae enjoy yoursel just this once, eh?

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  8. To much going on for my liking but keep in the bacon

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    1. Was it not yoursel that asked me for a burger recipe doll? For the love of all things holy, you're no easily pleased eh?

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  9. Oh my friend i hope you and Map are drinking long and happy into the night, had to wait to watch the match on the telly here in the US but oh was it worth it, let the oldest boy hold the scarf after Barca pulled one back cuz i've always dubbed him the good luck kid and at the final whistle me and my two sons were jumping up and down and cheering away, what a night. And now i'll crack me another pint of the old black gold and grin away.

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    1. Kono, long into the night, long into the day..... a time of pure celebration and pride for all Celtic supporters across the world. I can only imagine what my wee pal is feeling like right now. So many emotions... Euphoria, pure and simple.... I'm still away on a wee cloud as we speak.

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  10. I was one happy drunk last night! Emotional it was, just ask me older brother Rod! :¬)

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    1. Aye, I noticed he was wearing your jaiket.

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    2. 'First up - best dressed!'

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    3. I'm heading down the road to Jinty's for a wee sniff if yis are up to it. See you there for the neet.

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  11. Hm, if I ate one of these burgers, I’d have to be impolite as a consequence. would that mean I’d get dismembered?

    The effing pony told me to come and have a peep. She was right to do so.

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  12. Friko, I can only assume that you are talking of bodily functions in regard to my cuisine. As long as discretion was applied I do not see any reason why I would have to perform midnight surgery on your good self. Damn that effing pony lady and her dark impressions on my good and noble character!

    But then again...

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    1. I like the “but then again . . . . ."

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    2. Me again, I was looking for a follow button, can’t see one.
      I don’t know about the up-to-the-minute thing you run on your frontispiece.

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Thank you, the chef is currently preparing an answer for you in the kitchen. Do help yourself to more bread.