Marooned & Naked

For breakfast this morning I devoured tea, raisin cinnamon toast and an interesting article about a new documentary soon to be screened on the Discovery Channel. Ed Stafford, an Englishman, is undertaking an unusual and somewhat extreme survival challenge. He'll be washed up naked and alone on a desert island, south east of Fiji, with only his brain, bare hands, and a camera to keep him alive. He'll take no food, water, clothes, knife or tools. He will be completely naked and marooned for sixty days. Okay, I would definitely ditch the camera and substitute it for a case of good malt, that goes without saying, eh? I mean, there are only so many photies of palm trees you can take!

Call me a smidgen crazy here, but the thought of being alone for the best part of a couple of months on a tropical island, making things by hand, fishing and hunting for food using my wits and wandering around naked wearing little more than a couple of coconut husks on my feet by way of slippers, certainly appeals to my adventurous side. How about you? My only luxuries would be a box of matches, Irn Bru and of course my saucepans. So if you do hear about a large man with two months facial hair, found banging expensive copper saucepans together and what appears to be a python hanging from his waist, don't worry, it's either me or Ed Stafford just doing our thing.

Paradise

1 Wild Boar
Small bunch each of wild sage, parsley, rosemary and marjoram
6 Cloves of wild garlic
6 fresh yams

Preheat your open fire to 200c -  gas 6. (put on more tree bark to get it nice and hot)

If you haven't all ready done so during the thirty or so attempts to kill it with a pointy stick, score the rind with a sharp rock or coral, then rub with sea salt, this will help to make excellent crackling. Do not be tempted to trim any fat at this stage, as the meat cooks this will naturally baste the joint keeping it succulent and moist. Place all the herbs and wild garlic into the centre of the coconut roasting dish  then place the meat on top of the herbs. Roast the meat in the centre of the fire for two hours then turn down the heat by peeing on the outer logs. Allow 40 minutes per kg + 40 minutes a little longer for shoulder or hand joints to ensure they are tender. The boars hands, not yours for heavens sake.

Top, tail and peel the yams, cut into ¼`s then 45 minutes before the meat is done, place into a separate conch shell roasting dish, add enough fat from the roast to coat the yam, season and place into the fire with the joints of meat. When the joints are cooked, remove from the roasting shell, put onto a warm stone and cover, then leave to rest. Pour off any fat from the roasting shell, reserving in a pot, this herb infused boar fat is excellent for roasting yams. Make your gravy by incorporating all the herbs and garlic, then strain into a warmed coconut and serve overlooking the ocean. Do be careful not to drop anything into your lap, especially if you are like me, naked.